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Author: Stephen Weller
651 words, 3 minutes read time

Is It Better Not To Marry?

Scripture: Matthew 19:10-12

In the previous lesson, we sat in on a private teaching with Jesus and his disciples on the consequences of divorce and remarriage. In this lesson we will consider whether it is better not to marry.

^{Mt 19:10} “The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”’

The disciples have been listening to Jesus nullify most of the current popular grounds for divorce, and probably thought about the many challenges of being married, now overreact and say then “it is better not to marry.” That position has at least two strong negatives: a main purpose of marriage is to have and raise children to continue the human race and for some people, maybe most, is the need to be married.

^{Mt 10:11} “But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. ¹² For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”’

Jesus doesn’t deny what the disciples said is true, but “only to those to whom it is given.” If God has not specifically called a person to remain single then “because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband” (1 Corinthians 7:2 ESV). “Let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches” (1 Corinthians 7:17 ESV). Paul gives an example of himself in 1 Corinthians 7:7 – 9 ESV: ⁷ “I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. ⁸ To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

The comment Jesus just made about marriage or remaining single applies namely to eunuchs. From Smart Lookup (Powered by Oxford Dictionaries), a eunuch is “a man who has been castrated, especially (in the past) one employed to guard the women’s living areas at an oriental court.” The footnote in the ESV Study Bible, Copyright 2008 by Crossway Bibles, on page 1861 adds, “This would include those without the capacity for sexual relations, either through a birth defect, castration, or a voluntary life of abstinence. Celibacy is an acceptable alternative to marriage.”

There are those who have decided to remain single so as to have more time and energy to focus on ministry. An interesting twist to this is a woman who was married and served with her husband in a country of severe persecution where women were tortured for their faith by raping them. She decided to be made infertile to prevent a possible pregnancy in the event of such torture.

Conclusion

As in the time of Moses, it is easy today to obtain a divorce and connect with someone else for the sake of pleasure and comfort and not be concerned with the pain caused in the lives of others in the process. There are a few cases where divorce is necessary, but in most cases, Christians should do their very best with the Lord to grow through their trials to every one’s benefit. Living for self is a horrible sin that impacts many. Jesus sacrificed himself for our benefit; should we not sacrifice ourselves for the benefit of others?