Anchor My Faith

Author: Stephen Weller
1,189 words, 6 minutes read time

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What We Say Is Important

Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin. (Proverbs 13:3 ESV)

This proverb is important to all of us because each word we speak contains an element of power that will have an effect. In the beginning, Jesus spoke words and the universe came into being. The words we speak can result in death or life (Proverbs 18:21) so we must be careful. Paul tells us to “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29 ESV). With this in mind we will look at the contrasting parts of this proverb; the life and death aspect in relation to the one speaking the words.

“Whoever guards his mouth” will avoid much trouble (Proverbs 21:23) and will escape from trouble (Proverbs 12:13). James points out that “we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body” (James 3:2 ESV). We have all stumbled in various ways and have said things that we shouldn’t have said and later regret. Some of these words spoken have come back to us in various forms to cause us hurt of various intensity.

“He who opens wide his lips” and does not restrain his tongue will come to ruin. “A fool’s mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul” (Proverbs 18:7 ESV). “The wise lay-up knowledge, but the mouth of a fool brings ruin near” (Proverbs 10:14 SV). “The wise lay-up knowledge, but the mouth of a fool brings ruin near” (Proverbs 12:13 ESV). “The words of a wise man’s mouth win him favor, but the lips of a fool consume him” (Ecclesiastes 10:12 ESV). It is clear from these verses that the words we speak can ruin us as well as one who hears them. Think about the memories you still have of past words spoken to you that deeply hurt you.

“Words like eggs should be handled with care because once spoken they are like eggs broken and not easy to repair.” (David Wylie). “Words are like eggs dropped from great heights; you can no more call them back than ignore the mess they leave when they fall.” (Jodi Picoult). “Spoken words are like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again.” (Unknown).

“Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!” are words of wisdom that we should keep before us at all times.

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Summary Theme

Proverbs 13:3 teaches that words have tremendous power and that wise people exercise careful control over what they say. Guarding one’s speech protects relationships, preserves reputation, avoids unnecessary conflict, and reflects a heart guided by wisdom. In contrast, careless, excessive, or reckless speech often leads to trouble, damaged relationships, and harmful consequences. Solomon emphasizes that self-control in communication is not merely a social skill but a mark of godly wisdom.

Summary Paragraph

This proverb highlights the importance of controlling one’s words. Throughout Scripture, speech is portrayed as a powerful force that can bring life or destruction. A person who carefully considers what they say demonstrates wisdom, restraint, and maturity. Such caution protects them from many dangers that arise from gossip, anger, pride, deception, and careless promises. Conversely, those who speak impulsively, without restraint or discernment, often create problems for themselves and others. Proverbs 13:3 reminds believers that wisdom is demonstrated not only by what is spoken but also by knowing when to remain silent. A guarded mouth reflects a guarded heart that seeks to honor God and bless others.

Discussion Questions with Extended Answers:

1. What does it mean to “guard” your mouth?

Answer:
To guard your mouth means to carefully monitor and control what you say. Just as a guard protects a city gate from harmful intruders, a wise person protects their speech from harmful words. This includes avoiding gossip, slander, lies, angry outbursts, boastful speech, and careless comments. Guarding the mouth also involves speaking truth with love, choosing words that encourage others, and knowing when silence is more beneficial than speaking. It reflects intentional self-control rather than simply saying whatever comes to mind.

2. How can our words affect our lives?

Answer:
Words influence relationships, reputations, opportunities, and spiritual growth. Wise words can build trust, resolve conflicts, encourage others, and strengthen friendships. Careless words can destroy trust, create division, and cause lasting harm. Throughout Scripture, we see examples of both. A single reckless statement can lead to significant consequences, while thoughtful speech can bring healing and peace. Solomon teaches that the way we use our words often determines whether we experience stability or trouble in many areas of life.

3. Why does Solomon connect uncontrolled speech with ruin?

Answer:
Uncontrolled speech often reveals an uncontrolled heart. When people speak impulsively, they may expose secrets, spread falsehoods, offend others, make foolish commitments, or stir up conflict. Such actions frequently produce painful consequences. Ruin may come through broken relationships, damaged reputations, lost opportunities, or even spiritual discipline. Solomon observed that many troubles begin with careless words. Therefore, wisdom requires restraint and discernment before speaking.

4. How does Proverbs 13:3 relate to other biblical teachings about speech?

Answer:
This proverb aligns closely with many passages throughout Scripture. James teaches that the tongue is powerful and difficult to control (James 3:1-12). Proverbs 18:21 states that “death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Ephesians 4:29 instructs believers to speak words that build others up rather than tear them down. Jesus taught that people will give an account for every careless word they speak (Matthew 12:36-37). Together, these passages show that speech is a spiritual matter that reveals the condition of the heart.

5. What practical steps can believers take to guard their speech?

Answer:
Believers can guard their speech by slowing down before responding, praying for wisdom, listening carefully, and evaluating whether their words are true, necessary, and helpful. Regular study of Scripture helps shape godly speech because the heart influences the mouth. Developing habits of gratitude, encouragement, and kindness also transforms communication. When mistakes occur, humility and repentance restore relationships. Dependence on the Holy Spirit enables believers to grow in self-control and use their words in ways that honor God.

6. What does this proverb teach about spiritual maturity?

Answer:
Spiritual maturity is often revealed through controlled speech. Anyone can speak impulsively when emotions are high, but mature believers learn to exercise restraint. They understand that every conversation provides an opportunity either to glorify God or to create harm. Guarding the mouth demonstrates wisdom, humility, patience, and love. It shows that a person is allowing God’s truth to govern their heart and actions. As believers grow in Christ, their words increasingly reflect His character, bringing life, peace, and encouragement to those around them.